SKU: 91645894352

Apocalyptic Queen #3349 Kids "Not Hot" Sauce

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Description

Apocalyptic Queen #3349 Kids "Not Hot" SauceNot Hot Sauce Training Wheels for Future Spice Lords Not Hot Sauce is what you get when you want all the chaos of Apocalyptic Rations flavor with none of the fire department involvement. This bottle is built for tiny rebels, spice cowards, and flavor fans who want zero burn and maximum drip. Cane sugar, peaches, and red chili puree come together to make a sweet, tangy glaze that tastes like a fruit stand that survived the apocalypse. Tomatoes, jalapeo

“Not Hot” Sauce – Training Wheels for Future Spice Lords

“Not Hot” Sauce is what you get when you want all the chaos of Apocalyptic Rations flavor with none of the fire department involvement.

This bottle is built for tiny rebels, spice cowards, and flavor fans who want zero burn and maximum drip. Cane sugar, peaches, and red chili puree come together to make a sweet, tangy glaze that tastes like a fruit stand that survived the apocalypse. Tomatoes, jalapeño peppers, cayenne, and capsicum oil are present in micro-doomsday doses, just enough to bring authentic chili flavor without lighting a single tongue on fire.

Vidalia onions (1.34% by weight, because we’re nerds) plus minced onion and salt lend that mellow, caramel-y, savory note, while vinegar keeps it bright and dippable. Smooth, clingy texture that coats nuggets, fries, and anything your future hot sauce fiend is willing to test.

This is the gateway bottle. Today, “Not Hot.” Tomorrow… Scorpion Dust.

Flavor Profile:

  • Sweet: Cane sugar, peaches, and tomato for candy-adjacent glaze vibes

  • Tangy: Vinegar and chili puree keep it bright, not boring

  • Savory: Vidalia onions, minced onion, and salt for gentle umami depth

  • Chili Flavor, Zero Fear: Red chili, jalapeño, cayenne, and capsicum oil in baby-step amounts

Heat Level: NONE
All flavor, no fire. Approved for kids, grandparents, and people who think black pepper is “a lot.”

Best Deployed On: Chicken nuggets, fries, tater tots, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, pizza crusts, rice bowls, and any bland post-collapse snack in desperate need of sweet, tangy, zero-risk chaos.

Ingredients: Water, Cane Sugar, Red Chili Puree, Vinegar, Peaches, Jalapeno Peppers, Salt, Minced Onion, Tomatoes, Vidalia Onions, Cayenne Pepper, Xanthan Gum, And Capsicum Oil.

Refrigerate After Opening. 1.34% Vidalia Onion by Weight. May Contain Pits.

Shipping Notes
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Exchange/Return Notes
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SKU: 91645894352

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4.4 ★★★★★
Based on 9 reviews
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SavanahClark
Houston, US
★★★★★ 5
Love this stuff!
Style: SPF 50
I use this every day and I love how it is frangrance free and creamy. I have a very fair complexion and I will say it leaves a slight white cast but it doesn’t bother me because it almost makes my fairness more creamy looking. My skin texture has improved since wearing it daily and no allergies from it. I highly recommend especially if you have fairer skin otherwise it may leave a cast .
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2023
D
Verified Purchase
Dawn
Grantham, US
★★★★★ 5
Excellent mineral sunscreen with minimal white cast.
Style: SPF 50
This is one of the healthier sunscreens I’ve found so far. You’re not likely going to find a mineral sunscreen that doesn’t leave some white cast. However, this one rubs in pretty good with minimal cast. You can dab on and rub in fairly easily… as long as you don’t use too much the white cast should be minimal. I am not sure how well this would work on darker skin tones. My arms are a medium skin tone… my legs are more of a light-medium tone. I prefer mineral sunscreens, and this is the best one I found so far and compatible to Supergoop mineral play. If you liked that one, you would likely enjoy this Coola one too.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2025
K
Verified Purchase
Kaitlyn Jacobson
Draper, US
★★★★★ 1
Would not recommend
Style: SPF 50
I literally never write reviews but felt compelled to write one for this sunscreen because I was very caught off guard by all the positive reviews. This sunscreen leaves the most insane white sheen that never soaks in and gets on EVERYTHING. I put this on and drove to the beach and had sunscreen on my car seat, the steering wheel, the center console, the door, EVERYWHERE! It took forever to clean up and was such a hassle and that was after having let the sunscreen soak into my skin for an hour. Also the sunscreen is really thick and difficult to spread and makes you look ghostly white. Plus, the sunscreen has a really odd odor that reminded me of play dough? That might not be a negative thing for everyone but I found it unpleasant. There are definitely better mineral sunscreens out there. For the price I expected a much better product.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2025
J
Verified Purchase
John Reid
Cuba, US
★★★★★ 3
Sticky and white
Style: SPF 50
The sunscreen has a very sticky and thick texture. It will keep you from getting sunburnt, but it will also leave you with a white color.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2024
B
Verified Purchase
Brona Buys
Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 4
Good sunscreen
Style: SPF 50
Super good coverage and it lasts a long time in the sun and even through water activities. The only negative is the white cast. Not as bad as others but just be aware it doesn’t fully rub in.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2025

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